Choose You Blog
Tapping and tendu-ing: a life lesson
This week my kids are in dance camp. They are having a ball. Last night they asked me to rehearse with them. My younger daughter has never taken jazz, and my older daughter has never taken tap. Dance camp is introducing them to ballet, tap and jazz. They love it. If you have children, you know that they want (no, need) to move their bodies. I first learned this in high school, when I earned my gas money teaching two dance classes, one for 3-4 year olds and one for 4-5 year olds. The kids were lovely, their attention still caught by the fact that they could command their bodies and make them do things. One day we pretended to be trees; how would trees stand? Then we were wind; how would wind move? I taught them the very basics, and made up dances for them. I worked for a daycare, and it was all me. I even put on the recital myself. I loved it.
I first took dance lessons at three. I continued through college. I was never a good dancer. At my peak I was not an embarrassment to myself. I had no aptitude for choreography. I could pick it up if we did it over and over and over for months, but in five minutes? No way. I’m not terribly quick, so adagio was more my style. I’m also not terribly flexible. Even warmed up at 17 after eight hours of dance workshop I still couldn’t do the splits. What I lack in other areas, I do make up for in grace. And I love dancing.
So last night, when my girls strapped on their brand new tap shoes and said, “Dance with us Mom!” I could not resist. I went upstairs and took down my tap shoes from their box in the upper shelf of my closet. They had been gathering dust for nearly a decade. I dusted off the top of the box, took out my tap shoes, strapped them on, and came downstairs, where I worked my girls through a series of tap moves: toe taps, shuffle ball change, tap runs, tap turns. “More,” they demanded. So we did more. I taught them how to step their feet to make the tap sound right, and then we practiced tap rhythms. I was amazed how much my muscles recalled.
Well, I’m here to admit that I was unsuccessful in my Choose You commitment. I don’t really consider it a failure though, because I did meet most of my goals. I’m very happy that I am finally at the point where I am not craving sweets and other junk foods.
I didn’t lose any weight, but I was successful in maintaining my healthier eating habits. I wasn’t even tempted when my daughter brought back a plate full of deserts when we went out last week. 
I have no plans of giving up. My next Choose You commitment will be to continue my healthy eating while also integrating regular exercise (specifically swimming) into my plan. Although I hope to lose some weight in conjunction with all of this, I’m not going to hold myself to any number on a scale. If I lose five pounds that will be a great bonus, but I know the most important thing is that I am choosing a healthier lifestyle for myself.
I recently wrote a post about choosing to see the positive when we are working hard at weight-loss and fitness goals, but not seeing many results.
I find myself in the classic half-full or half-empty mark in my healthy eating plan. I can choose to see my plan as half-empty, because I haven’t even lost one pound yet. Or I can choose to see my plan as half-full, because I have had success in eating healthier foods and avoiding sugar. In other words, I can choose to feel good about myself or choose to feel like a failure. It’s totally up to me. And I’ve decided to try something new, “choose” to feel good about myself and take a closer look at all the ways I’ve been successful.
Although I haven’t lost any weight yet, I have had the strength and willpower to maintain healthy eating habits (and give-up sugar) for over six weeks. In my book, that’s success.
Anyway, that’s my story. I’ll let you know more about my new commitment next week.
*Catherine is the mother of two teenagers, she writes about health & wellness at BlogHer and catherine-morgan.com.
My son called me over the weekend and mentioned some new types of exercise classes he’s enjoyed taking while he’s studying abroad in Buenos Aires.
And then I tried to change the subject but he asked if I’d followed through on my promise and taken that Zumba class—-it wasn’t my fault that when I was already on my way out the door I found out the teacher had cancelled the class—-or done ANY serious exercise.
He would not accept any excuses valid reasons….and would not take no for an answer.
I can’t deal with the idea that my son got the gene for discipline when I didn’t.
That was yesterday.
Today—when I was on Twitter instead of exercising saw this link to a just-released article strongly recommending regular exercise for breast cancer survivors, I flashed on my conversation with Daniel and here’s what I immediately thought: I know it’s true; but I really didn’t need to see this today.
Or maybe I really did.
"Hello world, here's a song that we're singin' Come on, get happy(active)..."
It started a couple of years ago, the waving lady, or maybe even three years. Times sort of mushes together a bit the more of it you have behind you. Every day as I took my kids to school, I’d see this lady walking down my street. She was, in the beginning, overweight. I’d place her in her 60s, but who knows, I’m a terrible judge of age. Everyday she wore a black fanny pack in the front and a broad rimmed tan fishing cap. She also always wore a smile and gave everyone she passed a jaunty wave. If I happened to be standing in my yard versus in my car, she’d call out a cheerful, “Good morning!”
I can’t say why, out of all of the people who walk my neighborhood streets every day, this lady stands out to me. Waving is fairly common, as is calling out a hello. This is Texas and friendly is required. There’s just something about her. Maybe it’s her enthusiasm.
She walks enthusiastically. She keeps a steady and brisk pace, but it somehow includes an element of that quick and happy step we do when trying to get somewhere we like. When I walk, I walk very briskly but I suspect I look intense, as if I am attacking the track with my feet. I do not imagine I look as if I am enthusiastic or enjoying myself. I tend to tackle things to do as, well, things to do. It is work, and while I may get pleasure from it, the pleasure for me usually comes after the exercise is done: I did it, and it is done. Waving lady. Now she looks as if she is greatly enjoying herself. In fact, enjoying herself in a way that implies a deep sense of appreciation, as if she knows what it is like to not be able to do this. As if there is some higher purpose in what she does simultaneous with being happily in the moment of what she is doing.
If that makes any sense at all.
She waves and greets enthusiastically, too. Hers is not the perfunctory required friendliness; there is no rhetorical about her. It is, instead, that she seems truly happy to see you and genuinely wishes you a happy day. I think she is someone who values days.
She began exercising when I did. I began by riding my bike. I’d bike the kids to school, my little one in the trailer behind me, my older one on her own bike, first with training wheels, then with two wheels. After I dropped off my older, I’d ride a bit more around the neighborhood. When my daughters changed schools, I could no longer bike to that school, but there was a nice track in the park next to the new school, so I began walking. Then I mixed in some jogging. I began doing a few days a week, for about 20 minutes, but eventually I built up to at least 30 minutes every day. I became fierce about my exercise time and would fob off meeting or other requests for that time, “No,” I’d say firmly, “That’s my exercise time. I’m not available then.” Many people did not understand. They thought I could perhaps just exercise another time, but I knew that another time would not come.
I think waving lady would understand this.
Read on…
When I got cancer 15 years ago, I was living in a new community where I knew very few people. My friends were across the country or across the state; the internet was in its infancy; I was isolated and lonely.
I was seeing a therapist to cope with cancer. And one day at the end of our session, she wrote something on a prescription pad and handed it to me:
Contact with friends:
To be taken twice daily, either by phone or in person.
She urged me to take it seriously and follow it strictly, and to start making new friends. And I did. I followed her prescription from that day forward—and for the entire time I was being treated. I can’t say it cured cancer; but it cured my loneliness and isolation.
I thought of that therapist and her prescription the other day, when I read this email sent by a friend. I don’t know the original author but it spoke to me; and I think it speaks to all of us:
I just finished taking an evening class at Stanford. The last lecture was on the mind-body connection–the relationship between stress and disease. The speaker (head of psychiatry at Stanford) said, among other things, that one of the best things that a man could do for his health is to be married to a woman. For a woman, one of the best things she could do for her health was to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends.
At first everyone laughed, but he was serious. Women connect with each other differently and provide support systems that help each other to deal with stress and difficult life experiences. Physically this quality “girlfriend time” helps us to create more seratonin–a neurotransmitter that helps combat depression and can create a general feeling of well being. Women share feelings whereas men often form relationships around activities……. Women do it all of the time. We share from our souls with our sisters, and evidently that is very good for our health. He said that spending time with a friend is just as important to our general health as jogging or working out at a gym.
There’s a tendency to think that when we are “exercising” we are doing something good for our bodies, but when we are hanging out with friends, we are wasting our time and should be more productively engaged–not true. In fact, he said that failure to create and maintain quality personal relationships with other humans is as dangerous to our physical health as smoking!
So every time you hang out to shmooze with a gal pal or sister, just pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself. Let’s toast to our friendship with our girlfriends/sisters. Evidently it’s very good for our health.
Last Saturday, June 12th, was the one year anniversary of my thyroid cancer and neck dissection surgery. A few months ago, I had a goal- a definite way I wanted to “mark” this day. I was going to run in a tough half marathon in the mountains of Estes Park, Colorado. Although I have run a half marathon distance before (13.1 miles) it would have been my first half marathon race. I thought if I could run a mountain terrain half marathon at an elevation of 7,000+ feet, it would be an excellent foundation to build on for a full marathon.
I would have had to put in some major training, and if you read my last post, it was obvious it wasn’t going to happen. I thought a lot about the two races I’ve missed now, because of the time I needed to rest and regroup-physically and mentally. It is hard missing out on a goal you really want to achieve, when your body won’t let you.
Thinking back on my surgery from last year, it is amazing to me how much my body has been through, and really-that I can even push it to the limits I do. I still have shoulder pain from the nerves they had to move in my neck, to get to my lymph nodes. I’ve recently been told I need to have physical therapy on my shoulder because the muscles are so shortened and out of place. I hardly notice the pain anymore, and this arm feels just as strong to me as my other arm, which was not affected by the surgery. In just a year-365 days-my body has made a remarkable recovery.
But I have realized over the last month, I can’t expect my body to recover from a major surgery, heal from cancer, process radioactive iodine, function with almost 100 less lymph nodes, kill off microscopic cancer cells, adjust to thyroid hormones, be a mom, daughter, sister, friend, employee, deal with enormous amounts of stress through a divorce and losing a parent, and push physically as hard as it ever has, and not expect to ever be tired and need a break.
I missed two goals I really wanted to accomplish, but I have also gained something I never would have otherwise. Perspective. My body last month was telling me it needed to rest. I am glad I listened, because I think it will make me a better and stronger runner overall.
Last Thursday, I finally had a run where I had a consistent pace again, some distance, and I wasn’t tired. I had a bit of knee pain still, which I am convinced, is tied into running somehow. It only started hurting a little over a month ago, when I was running. I noticed the knee pain, before I tuned into how my body was feeling. I hiked two weekends ago almost 10 miles on a tough trail, carrying 20+ pounds of equipment, and I had no knee pain whatsoever over the course of two days. It might sound silly, but on that hiking trip, I decided when my knee didn’t hurt when I ran, the time would be right to come back to race training.
On Monday I ran. I wanted to run fast. I wanted to run a shorter distance and see how it went. I ran at a fast pace so I had to work, but I did not go “all out.” I ran on grass, which is harder to run on. I felt good. I ended up with one of my fastest times ever for the distance in a training run. There was only a tingle of knee pain.
And so, I am beginning again. I am going to gradually and consistently push forward. I have a new short-term goal I will write about next week.
I’ve learned a lot in the last year, but over the last month I have learned one of the most important lessons: Sometimes by not doing anything, listening to your body, and just being, it is the best way to choose you.
Today? I get my sutures out. Honestly, that is the high point of the day and it comes at 10:00 a.m. Anything else is just frosting.
Today? I get to enjoy the fact that the cells were simply dysplastic, not melanoma and that all of the skin cancer I am dealing with is at the “early detection, simple and easy to treat” point.
Today? I get to appreciate that I pledged to Choose You, with a focus on my skin, the largest organ in my body, and I have stayed true to my promise to protect my skin and get it checked.
Today? I am happy that the excised spot removed all of the problem cells and I’m finished with that area. It’s good now. I look forward to rubbing scar lotion on it, and being able to scratch.
Today? I am okay that I’ll have a scar that will be noticeable. It means I am alive and living and none of us get through this without scars. Also, this one is so very small, especially in context.
Today? I feel very lucky that I don’t have to worry about this and can turn my mind and attention to the many amazing things in my life: my family, my friends, my work, the constant chirrup of cicadas, oh wait, scratch the last bit. Those just remind me of the heat.
So now, for tomorrow, I’m going to think about what next.
Easy Banana Cream Pie Recipe: Low Calorie, Low Fat, and Low Sugar.
Several weeks ago I made a commitment to go off sugar for the sake of better health and weight loss. Once you’re off sugar for a week or so it is much easier to continue to stay away from it. And you really do feel a lot better when sugar isn’t dragging you down. However, there are still times when you crave a sugary treat. For those times, it’s a good idea to have some go-to foods and recipes that can satisfy your cravings without jeopardizing your commitment.
So last week when I was out to dinner (a buffet no less), and was tempted by a particular “dessert weakness” of mine…I decided to take matters into my own hands, and figure out a way to make a version of this dessert that I wouldn’t feel guilty about eating.
My Low Sugar, Low Fat, Banana Cream Pie Recipe
The first thing you have to do is get your bananas ripe. And once they are ripe – peel, cut, and freeze them (I just cut them in half and put each half into a zip-lock freezer bag). This way, you can make your (single serving) banana cream pie whenever your heart desires.
Once your bananas are ready you will need…
One box of instant fat free, sugar free banana pudding (prepared with 2 cups of non-fat milk).
1 Tablespoon of gram cracker crumbs.
A dollop of whipped cream (if desired).
Then it’s as easy as one, two three…
1. Spread your tablespoon of gram cracker crumbs on the bottom of a small bowl.
2. Put one serving (1/2 cup) of prepared banana pudding over crumbs.
3. Slice one of your frozen banana halves into small “bite size” slices, and layer them on top of pudding.
Now you have a delicious treat to enjoy, that is low in calories, fat, and sugar. YUM.
Give it a try and let me know what you think.
Do you have a favorite dessert that can be made into a low calorie, low sugar version? If so, I would love it if you would share it in comments.
*Catherine is the mother of two teenagers, she writes about health & wellness at BlogHer and catherine-morgan.com.
Though every mom is hopefully her own kids’ best support—it’s really something special when it comes full circle.
My son Daniel inspired me to commit to Choose You. Since he’s thousands of miles away studying abroad, I didn’t think of asking him to be my official support—but he’s taken on that role without realizing it.
At first he was all sweetness—as in….insisting that I stop eating sugar.
In the last few weeks, I’ve cut way down on my chocolate consumption. In fact I would advise everyone to sell any stock you own in any companies that sell chocolate—sales will be way down this quarter.
When I reported this sweet success to Daniel during a call on Skype, he didn’t miss a beat. He’s moving on—and now he’s annoying asking me about what I’m doing to get moving, too.
Though he knows I take regular walks by the beach, he’s been bugging encouraging me to step it up.
So about a week ago I promised I’d add some more strenuous cardio—and I’ve been thinking about actually doing it. ….also thinking back on all these years and everything I’ve done.
I realized I’ve gone all the way from A—-aerobics classes at the original Jane Fonda’s Workout to Y—-yoga. And I can almost see the end from here….
Tonight: Zumba!
Three kids, a full-time job, a house, a spouse, errands, pets, friends…life is full. Mine is not unique. I am not unique. Women have so much to do.
It’s hard to find time to be active when my life is so “active.”
I know I could get up earlier, but isn’t getting a decent amount of sleep good for your health too? Why couldn’t that have been one of the Choose You challenges??
Most days I feel like I’m running from one engagement to another. Get up go to work. Finish work get to a baseball game. Game is over get the kids home and into bed. Time to go to sleep. And that’s a weeknight. My weekends are doubly packed.
I’m not complaining. My life is rich. But I need to find time. Thirty minutes. I’ve been trying, but not as successful as I’d hoped. Maybe I have too many interests, too many distractions.
I’m having a hard time giving up things I love to make time for my own health. I need to figure out how to love getting healthy AND do all of those other things.
Any ideas??
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