Choose You Blog

My friend Beth once did the best yoga class I’d ever been to. I like yoga, but I tend to be the “run a TV program and do it in the privacy of my own home” kind of yoga gal because every yoga class I ever went to was High Stress for me. I’m not very flexible — even back when I danced eight hours a day I could still not touch my knee to my nose — and instructors would be so nice about how “I just needed to let my muscles flow and I was doing fine” that I’d grind my teeth. Then they’d give me a little push, like that was all that held me back. Beth, though, Beth said, “Let’s just relax and enjoy. Do what feels comfortable. Listen to your body.” It was incredible. It was relaxing. It was positive forming. By the end of the yoga session, I actually felt like a nice person.

Then I found out Beth was the published author of the book Healthy Mother, Healthy Child, so like any star-struck fan I had to Get To Know Her. By the end of the talk, I knew that Beth was awesome and I felt good just being around her, like I was a nice person. You know people like that? The ones who bring out your Inner Good? Even when it’s buried under layers of stress and angst? That’s Beth.

Lately, I’ve been feeling that stress creep back in, slowly edging its wormy way into power over my being. Instead of Nice Julie, I’ve been morphing into Stress Monster Snappy Julie. I lose my cool over little things, my finger nails are starting to chip, my hair is shedding at a rapid rate, and I have a perpetual knot in the middle of my shoulder blades. That’s about when I pledged to Choose You, promised myself to work on better health choices, including lowering my stress. I mean, who loves waking at 2 a.m. with a racing mind? Then, like a miracle, I got an email from Beth that her new book was out, A Moment’s Peace: A Mom’s Guide to Creating Calm Amidst Chaos.

I called Beth right away, so excited. It was like a shower of gold coins in my lap. Beth was very generous, sending me a copy of the book, sitting on the phone with me for lengthy chats, and eventually even answering my big pressing Choose You Stress Reduction Questions.

Here’s what I asked, and how she answered:

Julie: The Choose You program came to be as a call to women to take care of themselves, in the fight against cancer. When you see the statistics (1 in 3 women will get cancer, but about 50% of cancer deaths could be prevented if more emphasis were placed on early detection and healthier lifestyles including maintaining a healthy weight through diet and exercise and avoiding tobacco) you see how important it is to  focus on yourself and your health, and yet, despite mentally knowing this, women see to rarely make emotional time to care for themselves. What’s your best advice for overcoming this?

Beth: The bottom line– can be summed up in this video I made entitled Taking Care of YOU. If we can dedicate even as little as 5 minutes a day to find a quiet still space, that feeling we create will grow, and we will then crave that time and create the time to take care of ourselves– which when we do this, everything else tends to fall into place.

Julie: Your article was lovely, focused on being in the moment and not letting your mind race ahead. I’m a big list-maker, and sometimes that gets overwhelming when I begin thinking about how much I have to do. My mind tends to race, and not always at good times. Obviously reducing stress and finding, as your book is titled, calm in the chaos, is a key factor in health. What are two things I can do to ground myself?

Beth: What I incorporate into my everyday to ground myself when I am feeling stress? 1. Stop. Catch myself and notice my stressed-out feeling  2. Take my awareness and use it as an opportunity to practice! Bring my attention to my body and my breath. Notice my body (something as simple as focusing on my feet touching the ground, or my fingers tapping away on my keyboard)– and then notice my breath. I allow a long deep inhalation and then a longer, deeper exhalation. For me, this practice can instantly transform a negative stressed-out feeling into a lighter more peaceful grounded feeling. Now engage your attention in the task at hand. Try it now.

Julie: Some of us in the Choose You group are very interested in guided meditation, but aren’t sure where and how to begin. Any tips?

Beth: I have dedicated over 2 years of recording a free weekly  guided relaxation podcast to help people make that transition into creating a quieter space. FREE Guided Relaxation Podcast I also have a CD Sounds of Stillness that has 30 minutes of relaxing music and a 20 minute guided relaxation.

Julie: Two parts of your new book are sticking with me: the “nutshell” exercise on pp 39-40 and  ”needle in a haystack” section on pp 47-8. I know this, mentally, but my challenge is remembering to be aware and do this in the moment. How can I help myself take these moments?

Note: The “relaxation in a nutshell” exercise is simply to keep your awareness in the present moment, notice and be focused on each part of your body, and breathe. The “needle in a haystack” section talks about when, where and how to find small joys and epiphanies in every day moments that may normally be stressful.

Beth: Start small with “present moment epiphanies.” Simple everyday activities become the “material” to experience engaging in mindfulness in everyday life. Before any of these examples below, catch yourself. Stop. Notice your body and your breath. Pause. And, now engage your attention to the task at hand:

• Who’s calling? Before you pick up the phone or answer to your child’s distressed call for attention.
• Waiting in line. Whether it’s sitting in traffic, carpool line, for the bus, or at the bank.
• Listen up. Stay present in conversation. Just listen, who knows what you’ll hear!

Julie: For those of us who already have sickness in our bodies or have had, being present in our body can be a scary and painful experience, being aware of ourselves that closely can bring up painful memories, physical and emotional, of being painfully aware of our bodies in a problematic way. How can we make this a healing experience, a good experience?

Beth: In my opinion, when you get sick–even if it’s simply being lethargic, or are just plain cranky, your body is trying to “talk” to you. It is your job to listen, to pay attention. And to make a change. I use the example of awakening the intelligence of our body. It knows what to do, when given half a chance. Make the decision to dedicate energy and intention to health and healing. My body is the greatest instrument I will ever own.

Julie: What is the best thing you get from this experience of creating a moment’s peace, for yourself and as someone who helps bring this to others?

Beth: An email or handwritten note comes in from a reader or listener, or someone approaches me after a workshop or talk and says how much my message helped them. Helping others brings me enormous amount of joy.

Julie: What personal experience brought you to writing these books and on this path, and where do you think it will lead you next?

Beth: My initial journey in discovering the body’s ability to self-heal began in London with a sick baby. My son Sam developed severe allergies that led me to search for a wider knowledge, a deeper understanding of the roots of disease, which in turn has led me to my work today.

As for future opportunities? I am currently working on another book, writing for Dr Andrew Weil’s Weil Baby and venturing into the world of media in a bigger way.  I aspire to “practice what I preach” everyday. My reward is feeling peaceful and content with the opportunities to continue this work.

About Elizabeth Irvine: Whether as an ICU nurse, mother of three, yoga instructor or noted author of Healthy Mother Healthy Child: Creating Whole Families from the Inside Out, Elizabeth Irvine has developed a keen sense of how to bring health and happiness into her life and the lives of those around her.