Choose You Blog

I’m no stranger to journaling. I tried to keep a diary off and on when I was a teen. The pretty bound books were erratically filled: days in a row and then nothing for months. The benefit for me of writing my thoughts and feelings down in a diary is the amazing perspective it brought. I’d frantically freeform write my anguished angst, then go back and read it later; it always made me laugh. I’d read it one hour later and decide it sounded too melodramatic to maintain. I’d read it a year later and realize that emotions were fleeting and things that felt like the Absolute End All Be All in the moment ended up…not. I’d read things years later and think, “Wow, who is Jenny R? I wonder why she was so important to me then?”

As I watch teens crash and burn in major media stories, I wonder if they journal, real journalling, not status updating their friends via social media. My journals were private, for me alone (except the time my sister and her friend broke in and read them). There was no Internet back then, but anyway, just because there is now doesn’t mean it all needs to be hung out to dry like backyard laundry for all the neighbors to see. There’s something to be said for pen on paper, kept private, with a lock.

Part of my Choose You pledge requires journaling. My nutritionist suggested that I journal with careful detail. Not just a food diary, the sort of which I kept for weight watchers, but the context of my self, as I consumed the food.

The entry might read like this, “Today is the first week of my cycle, and I notice a discernible drop in my energy and focus. I’m starving by 10 a.m. no matter what I do or don’t eat, or when. If I don’t eat something, my sugars will crash and I’ll hit full-blown hypoglycemia, with temperature fluctuations, light-headedness, shakes, and so forth within minutes. I’ve moved to coffee by 11:30, when normally I don’t drink it. I’m sluggish on the track, hard-pressed to hit the 4 miles per hour. It’s frustrating because I feel a keen and corresponding drop in my creativity and comprehension. I think my entire system is sluggish. For example, no matter what I eat, it causes my stomach to get upset. This is all new to my age and stage. I’m doing the exercise anyway, as best I can, and trying different foods and times of eating, but it’s a struggle. I haven’t found the key yet. Not sure I can. Today (day 5) I skipped eating breakfast at all and carried a bag of almonds with me. I ate a small handful every half hour. That helped, was better than yesterday, but still I felt sluggish and unfocused. At least my sugars did not drop as badly, although I was eating lunch (spinach and feta wrap with grilled chicken) by 11 a.m. Dinner by 5 p.m. The coffee helped me focus, so if I must have a cup mid-day to make it, so be it.”

I’m amazed what I have learned by journaling not just what I ate or exercised but also how I felt, and my body’s context. I think discovering that the first two weeks of my cycle are by far my very worst (now) was the most surprising thing.

I also am truer to my integrity — my Choose You pledges — when I journal. Knowing you need to write down your choices…well, let’s say suddenly that ice cream sundae doesn’t seem as necessary, but that exercise is.

I don’t share (notable exception above) the private details of my journal, not with anyone, but I do share the results with people who are helping me care for my health.

Do you journal your health? What have you learned?