Choose You Blog

Photo credit: Brianne Widaman, Revolution of Real Women

Last year, I did my best to portion control my eating, drinking and being merry for Christmas and the New Year. I planned my Thanksgiving well, but Christmas. Oy. I just let it all slide. Some days I ate well, other days it was cheese and sausage log for lunch with a cherry pie chaser. I can say at least in that case…my portions were small(ish). Besides which, this was a slightly rough holiday season and I took comfort in eating. Under duress, I admit it: a cube of Lindor dark chocolate caramel truffle can be a fast refuge. And I’m not one to resist peppermint brick fudge. Not gracefully, anyway. So…I dropped my worry about it and made my way through the holidays the best I could. This meant I ended up with higher eating input and lower exercise output.

When talking to my nutritionist, she took a positive approach: set a cutoff.

So I am. I’m mentally gearing myself up to get back to where I was a month ago. As in: eating well and exercising daily.

As I’m sure we all well know, this is the easy part.

The hard part is doing it. And sticking with it.

But, health resolutions are so important – about 50 percent of cancer deaths could be prevented if women maintained a healthy weight through diet and regular exercise, avoided tobacco products and got recommended cancer screenings.  Yet we know that the majority of women put others before themselves and that does not bode well for sticking to a healthy lifestyle. (Yeah, that’s me, trying to be supermom and the spirit of Christmas and Birthday this month…which did not bode well for my personal health!)

What if you had a great and supportive way to actually stick to your New Year’s resolutions?

The American Cancer Society’s Choose You program helps women put their health first and stick to their health commitments by offering social support and financial incentives that have been proven to create long-term behavior change. All you have to do is log on to ChooseYou.com and sign up to make a commitment. As an extra incentive, women who make a new Choose You commitment between December 27 and January 31 will be eligible to enter the ‘New Year, Choose You!’ sweepstakes for a chance to win health-related prizes, such as a trip to LA to meet with a personal trainer, spa gift certificates and more.

So join ‘New Year, Choose You!’ and check back here for more information — and an upcoming giveaway of some sweet swag.

What’s your health-related goal this year? Do you have a plan or tips to share?

PS Please follow Choose You on Twitter via @ACSChooseYou, and become a fan on Facebook!

Ann found me, actually. And from the first minute, I was glad she did. She’s consistently thoughtful, kind, caring, funny, and someone who meets “good egg” status with room to spare. Not to mention, a great writer. As I got to know Ann, and her story, my interest and respect only grew. When she began to grow in yoga, I followed her status. I admire so much about Ann, but I am mostly very grateful to know her and that she was willing to once again do me a favor and write a lovely story that shares her Choose You moment.

What’s your Choose You story? Send it to me at chooseyoujulie@gmail.com and tell me which Choose You pledge(s) you’ve committed to, and how you made that choice!

Last December I signed up for yoga teachers’ training after a five month debate with myself on the sanity of such a move.

The 200 hour training meant a huge commitment of my family as well as myself because as it stretched over a six month period. In addition to the 27 hours I would be gone every third weekend of the month, there was reading, writing and additional personal yoga class time that ate into our lives.

Even though I knew I’d found the perfect program of study for myself, I felt a great deal of reluctance to ask my husband and then seven year old daughter to be prepared to cut me slack.

It was my husband, who finally pointed out the bottom line to me, “Hard as this is for you to hear, we can manage,” he said.

He also reminded me that this training represented the next big leap in a personal journey that I’d been on for a long time.

When we met in the winter of 2007, I was a physical wreck. Widowed for just over a year, the ravages of care-taking and single parenthood couldn’t have been more obvious. I’d only just begun overhauling my diet and exercise routine. I suffered from chronic stress that manifested in insomnia and digestive issues.

Like many people, I resisted the idea of yoga. The warm fuzzy New Age vibe rubbed uncomfortably against the notion that exercise should not be spiritual. However, painfully locked shoulders, migraines and knees so sore that I hobbled up and down stairs got me through the door of that first yoga class and from there, I didn’t look back.

I read somewhere that there are two kinds of yoga students, those who yoga changes and those who quit practicing. There is truth in that. At some point, yoga ceases to be exercise and begins to influence lifestyle.

Because of yoga, life is approached mindfully. It’s difficult to not think about the impact of my thoughts and actions on me and those around me.

Most astonishing of all to me is that how my body feels and functions takes precedent over how it looks. In working to realign my limbs, I have finally taken possession of myself for myself.

One of the great joys of teaching yoga is watching students find themselves in the poses. Finding me through yoga has been eye opening because I am not at all whom I thought I would find.

It’s been three years since my first yoga class, not quite a year since I started teacher training and a bit more than seven months since I began teaching. My knees are nearly pain-free. My massage therapist cannot believe the changes in my upper back and shoulders. But more than physical comfort is the emotional ease I’ve discovered. I was never one who was satisfied with her body. My weight especially drove me to extremes. I’ve gained and lost hundreds of pounds in the last thirty-five years. But today, as a 47-year-old woman, I can say I am just right and getting “righter” all the time without mania or really conscious effort at all.

By choosing to put myself forefront for just those six months, I have uncovered all the wonder and joy that one life could need or want because I finally have balance or at least the means to maintaining balance.

About: Ann Bibby is a blogger for Care2.com and her own site, anniegirl138. She also teaches at The Yoga Room in Fort Saskatchewan, Alberta.

When I first heard that actress Andrea Powell was willing to be interviewed for the Choose You blog, I was excited…and maybe a smidge nervous. But one thing I’ve learned through time is that people are people, and confidence can carry you a long way. That’s carried me through television interviews with a Governor and Senator, radio interviews with Mayors, conversations with celebrities, and asking inspiring people like Andrea Powell to share her Choose You story. Andrea quickly set a very conversational and friendly tone that made me look forward to each communication. It was very interesting to get a glimpse into the life of a busy and successful actress during a movie shoot, especially one that tended to shoot at night and over weekends! It was wonderful to be able to ask her about her healthy choices, and hear her honest and very real, very relatable answers. Instead of simply a celebrity, or an inspiration, I got to meet a lovely person. Many thanks to Andi for her time and willingness to share her Choose You story!

What’s your Choose You story? Send it to me at chooseyoujulie@gmail.com and tell me which Choose You pledge(s) you’ve committed to, and how you made that choice!

Question: The common perception is that actresses dedicate a lot of time and energy to healthy self-care, so it wouldn’t seem as if you had bad habits to overcome or poor lifestyle to change to make healthy choices. Is this true? Do you have any vices? If so, what and how do you manage them?

Andi’s Answer: There are plenty of people in this industry struggling with traditional vices, although my worst habit is probably overwork.  If it’s possible to be addicted to the computer, I’m probably there, and if there’s a spare minute in the day I’ll find a way to fill it.  It’s hard to stay balanced.  When I’m working I’m usually on a crazy schedule, and when I’m not working I’m trying to catch up on the real-life stuff I fell behind on while I was working.  And of course, all the while I’m trying to make time for exercise, family, and taking care of myself.  I try to manage it by setting priorities (and being okay when they inevitably shift), but sometimes I just have to sit down and breathe, or go for a long bike ride.  And when that doesn’t work, I can always count on barbecue and reeeeally dark chocolate (not together…although now that I think about it, the whole sweet/savory thing is kinda interesting).

Q: I hate diets, no seriously, I do. It’s probably an authority issue deal, but denial is more like a challenge than a reasonable boundary to me. And I am compelled to meet a challenge. So how I perceive a healthy life choice is the most important thing, personally, if a program is to work for me. That’s why Choose You appeals to me; it’s framed in a very “can do” way. It’s a choice I make to do, versus a thing denied. How did you discover Choose You, and what about it resonated with you?

Andi’s Answer: I hate diets, too! For one thing, we all know they don’t work for the long haul. Every now and then I’ll get something like a bikini scene at the last second, and I become this crazy bags-of-salad-eating girl for a few days. In that case, I’m motivated by the fact that I’m going to be literally putting myself out there in front of millions of people on television or in a movie…and the wardrobe fitting is already done. But in general, following a diet that says I can’t have something only makes me crave it more. Better for me to follow a healthy overall eating plan and allow myself indulgences from time to time (case in point, after the bikini scene on “The Gates,” we went directly from the set to the nearest pizza joint and ate everything in sight. Stomach ache the next day, but sooooo worth it). Seriously, in the grand scheme of things your body will barely register that burger, so I say go for it and return to your healthy eating afterwards. All things in moderation.

As to how I discovered “Choose You,” after I ran the Chicago Rock n’ Roll Half Marathon for the American Cancer Society this year, we started talking more about ways that I could continue to be involved with the ACS in the causes that are dear to my heart. I lost my father to cancer several years ago; my husband lost both his parents to cancer; and we both have brothers who are cancer survivors thanks to early detection. Almost everyone I know has a connection in one way to another to this terrible disease, either directly or through a friend.  So if there’s any way to make people more aware of the things they can do to stay healthy, I want to be involved.

“Choose You” is a great program because it puts the power in your own hands. We make choices every day, and we do our best to make the right ones. Sometimes we bang our shins, but we hopefully learn and make better choices the next time. As women with responsibilities to career and family, we make choices so that others can have what they need, but in the process we end up sacrificing the very things that could make us healthier. It’s wonderful to take care of the people we love, it’s wonderful to do well in a job, but we’re no good to anyone—especially ourselves—if we’re not healthy.

“Choose You” may be difficult for some women to grasp because there’s still something about our society that says it’s selfish or wrong to put yourself first. In reality, though, taking that time to choose you is the best thing you can do for the people you love.

The choices you make in “Choose You” are also simple and achievable. You’re not setting a goal so large and impossible that you’re destined to fail; rather, you’re making a choice for yourself that will yield results you can be proud of. At the end, you can say “I chose this, and I did it!”

Q: Which of the “Choose You” commitments appeal the most to you? (Eat Right, Get Active, Quit Smoking, Get regular Health Checks, Protect My Skin)

Andi’s Answer: “Get Active” appeals to me most, but “Protect My Skin” is the one I need to work on most.  I’m an adult-onset athlete, having discovered sprint triathlons several years ago and now loving how it feels to exercise and be in my body.  My husband and I are also on our second round of P90X, something we never thought we’d finish but which quickly became a part of our lives.  So yes, I’ve become a total fitness geek.  Not obnoxiously so, I hope, but the difference it makes in my physical and emotional health is so positive that it now feels weird to go a few days without doing something active. I’m also the outdoorsy nature girl (seriously, like with the hiking boots and the birdwatching field guide), so anything that can get me outside I’m going to love. Of course, I also grew up in Florida, so all that outdoorsy has also wreaked havoc with my skin. I grew up during a time when it was normal to slather on baby oil and “lay out.” Because I’m a tiny part Cherokee Indian, I would get incredibly dark, and I worked hard to stay that way. All these years later, though, we know that sun exposure and stress not only look bad but can kill you.  I’ve been unbelievably lucky, but now I’d like to be smart.  So while I pledge to do my best to eat right, stay active, not smoke, and get regular health checks, “Protect My Skin” will be my “Choose You” commitment.

Q: Many women I talk to love the idea and frame of Choose You, but tend to say they’ll pledge when X gets done, in the new year, when Y finishes, and so forth; waiting for the “right” time. What’s your best persuasive discourse to help women make now the right time?

Andi’s Answer: I know all about that.  “Just as soon as I get a little down time,” “As soon as I get this project finished,” “What things settle down a bit,”—I’ve used them all.  But here’s the thing about “Choose You”:  not only is it easy and fun to do (just sign up on the website and follow the steps), but the sooner you start, the sooner you’ll get the results that your body is craving.  You’re not talking about a huge time commitment, either.  Just a pledge to do the things that you choose to do—for yourself.  It’s all about little steps that can make a big difference.  Do your best, forget the rest.  Oh, and the blue flower logo is adorable and perfect for the upcoming fashion season.

Q: What’s your Choose You story? By which I mean, any story you’d like to share about finding that inner inspiration, and choosing to go for it for yourself, whatever it is, whatever way you went?

Andi’s Answer: When I signed up for my first triathlon, I did not know how to swim (OK, so I didn’t fully think through the whole TRIathlon thing).  It was a women-only super-sprint that started with a 250-yard pool swim, but at that point I hadn’t been in a swimming pool since I was about 13 years old and being ritually (and traumatically) dunked by boys. But an actress friend of mine recruited a group to participate (Team “We Can Tri”), and I jumped on board.  Then I jumped off board.  The deadline passed, and all the slots sold out.  Then about eight weeks before the event, they opened up “charity” slots—basically overpriced opportunities to participate if, like me, you had dragged your cold feet.  So I was sitting on the couch with my husband, wishing I’d signed up, irritated with myself for being afraid to learn to swim, and a little more than two months away from my 43rd birthday.  I was whining about all of this, when my husband made the most wonderful offer:  “I’ll stake you.”

OK, I had no idea what that meant, but it sounded like a possibility of…something.  He patiently explained the concept of “staking”—he would pay the overpriced fee, all I had to do was train and complete the race (otherwise I had to pay him back)—and I was in.  I downloaded an eight-week training plan, and through a combination of YouTube videos, practice, and dumb luck, I taught myself to swim well enough to complete the race.  I did most of it backstroke, mind you, but I did it.  Then after a hilariously slow bike portion (on a mountain bike I’d rescued in New York) and a don’t-pass-out-now-you’re-almost-there run portion, I finished my first triathlon.  Since then, I’ve done several more sprints (with better and better times) and ran the Rock n’ Roll Half Marathon for ACS (my first time running that kind of distance…I walked the water breaks and make it through just fine, although stairs seemed overrated for a few days after).  And then a few months ago I did my first triathlon open water swim.  Fortunately it didn’t occur to me until midway through that I’d never actually swum in a lake before, much less that far out from shore.  But when I started to panic I just flipped over to my trusty backstroke and focused on the full moon beaming down from the blue morning sky.

I was doing it.

And with a rockin’ bike time (I now have a proper road bike) and a slow-but-steady run, I actually made a place on the podium.  So what that I was third in a category of only a handful of competitors (Masters Novice…over-40 beginners), but I PODIUMED, baby, and got the sweetest coffee mug ever.  I’m still not a strong swimmer, although I’ve taken some lessons and feel better about the whole thing.  I get out on my bike when it’s not too frightfully cold, and I’m running as often as I can to get in shape for the coming season.  I’ll be proud to run for the American Cancer Society again at the Seattle Rock n’ Roll Half Marathon in June.  I still won’t be very fast, but at least I’ll have healthy skin—thanks to “Choose You”.  :-)

ABOUT: Andrea Powell is an actress, most recently seen as impeccably dressed mama werewolf Karen Crezski in ABC’s summer series, “The Gates.”  She has appeared extensively in films and on television, including the recent feature films “Get Low” with Robert Duvall and “My Own Love Song” with Renee Zellweger. Continuing her supernatural mom career, Andrea will play Sasha in the upcoming “Twilight: Breaking Dawn.” In addition to her work as an actress, Andrea designs and develops websites through her company, AndiSites, and does her best to become a better swimmer, biker, and runner. You can follow Andrea on Twitter (@andipowell), Facebook, and through her website.

It took a wakeup call for me to make positive changes in my eating habits.  It was 15 years ago, while my body was being flooded with powerful chemicals ( chemotherapy during cancer treatment) that I decided to stop ingesting even more chemicals—and  switched to organic food.  It just seemed to make sense.

At that time I hadn’t yet met Myra Goodman, whose knowledge and insights since we became friends have reinforced the reasons  I made that choice.  She and her husband Drew made their own choice  25 years ago— two native New Yorkers transplanted to California who decided to grow raspberries in their backyard garden.  That raspberry patch, and the organic farming methods they learned turned into EarthBound Farm, the largest grower of organic produce in the world. 

Over the years since then, research has grown too, indicating that environmental carcinogens are responsible for a far greater number of cancers than previously believed. 

A presential panel issued a report this year, recommending  to President Obama that eliminating these threats to our health should be a priority:

The Panel was particularly concerned to find that the true burden of environmentally induced cancer has been grossly underestimated….The panel urges you most strongly to use the power of your office to remove the carcinogens and other toxins from our food, water, and air that needlessly increase health care costs, cripple our Nation’s productivity, and devastate American lives.

What can the average person do in our daily lives?  Says Myra,  “There are so many chemicals around us today, and we have very little control or ways to avoid them.  Food is one of the few choices we have to limit the chemicals entering our bodies.  And studies show that the vast majority of chemicals we take in through food are found in produce.”

She recommends checking the Environmental Working Group list of the conventional fruits and vegetables that are highest in pesticides—their pocket guide is handy to download and take along when you go shopping.

Myra recently published her second cookbook….The Earthbound Cook—filled with tips and  information on how to make healthy choices for ourselves, our planet, and our kitchens—plus of course, many wonderful recipes.  And that brings up another way that my friendship with Myra has enriched my life.

Though we share a love of eating great food, I never shared Myra’s love for making it.   So what I’ve also learned from Myra is to choose a more positive attitude —stop thinking of cooking as a burden, and embrace the rewards of cooking from scratch.

Like most things in life, good food is best when it’s shared—and for me, that includes making it.   So when Myra wrote her first cookbook a few years ago, I started a family tradition.  Once a week my grown daughter would come over and together we would make a great, healthy meal for the family–from scratch–entirely from Myra’s cookbook, Food to Live By.   I had never enjoyed cooking—or eating—more.

I would love to continue the tradition with her second cookbook—except that my daughter moved; and now she’d have to drive 7 hours to get to my kitchen.   Though I’m sad we  can’t share the cooking anymore,  I’m glad for this chance to share one of my favorite healthy choices—-both in friendship and lifestyle. 

On her blog, Darryle also shares one of Myra’s recipes from her new book.

For the past year and a half, I’ve been dealing with a health ailment that only one or two people really knew about. Chronic inflammation in my GI system has been causing a myriad of problems for me since January 2009. In the past 8 weeks though, things have ramped up to the point where I told myself in a very stern voice, You need to take your stubborn behind to the doctor.

*gulp*

This is something that I knew needed to be done but frankly, I was scared. Scared to think about what could be wrong and scared to talk openly and honestly with a physician about what was going on. Since our toddler years, we have been taught that you don’t really talk about bodily issues or “stuff that happens in your gut.” And, those mores of decency followed me into adulthood, as I found myself battling various symptoms. Even in conversations with close friends, I would often say that it was my stomach with the issue…not my lower GI system because that’s “gross.” Even when I talked to my primary care doctor, a colorectal surgeon, and a gastroenterologist, I STILL felt embarrassed to have those conversations.

But, “gross” can’t keep me from addressing this health need of mine anymore. And, it should keep you from addressing your health needs either. Excluding skin cancers, colorectal cancer is the third most common cancer diagnosed in both men and women in the United States. And, it’s the second leading cause of cancer-related deaths for men and women combined. Statistics like this automatically tell me that I can no longer afford to be timid about this issue. It’s time to get gutsy…Pun intended.

This afternoon, I am undergoing a colonoscopy so that my doctors can figure out what’s going on with me. Given my family’s history of cancer and autoimmune disease, my doctor will more than likely also need to do a biopsy of my tissue. It feels good to type that to the masses and not be so hush-hush about it. Before this post, only a handful of people knew what my “secret procedure” was going to be. For those who thought it was plastic surgery, I’m sorry to disappoint!

As a young African-American woman, I really want to talk to my three member groups and say the following:

• Young adults – GI issues are usually associated with older adults, but that doesn’t mean that we should be listening in on the conversation. I know that we all think we are invincible, but trust me…We aren’t. If something is wrong with you health-wise, it’s best to address it now. It will be so worth it in the long-run.

• African-Americans – It’s no secret that there are health disparities that negatively affect our community. But, we also must be the change that we need to see. African Americans have the highest colorectal cancer incidence and mortality rates of all racial groups in the United States. Let’s start advocating for our health (SCREENINGS) and setting a better example for future generations to come.

• Women – Take the time out to “choose you,” and choose your health. That’s the theme of this website. Make a commitment to yourself and stick with it.

When I joined the “Choose You” blog, I did so because I wanted to put my health first and encourage others to do the same. So, if you know of a loved one who may be at risk for colorectal cancer, PLEASE share this information with them. It’s not the most fun conversation, but it is definitely a needed one.

I had the opportunity to listen to Bonnie St. John in person at the Texas Conference for Women recently. I was deeply inspired by her topic about developing your presence. It truly resonated with so much of what I’ve worked on for the last decade: building confidence in myself and my voice as a priority, as something and someone of value. I knew of Bonnie, of course, her fame and positive influence preceded her. What I didn’t know was her unbelievable charisma, spectacular speaking, and how amazing her beautiful smile is in person. What I also didn’t know was how deeply her words, practical and applicable as well as inspirational, would affect me. I wanted to bring her here, to our community, and share some of her insights with you, in hope that you felt the inspiration too. So I am honored and thrilled to introduce Bonnie St. John, who was gracious enough to answer my questions with wonderful and wise words!

Question: Bonnie, you talk so beautifully and often about the strength of women as women, even in harder-edged and leadership roles.  What is the most important lesson that every woman should learn about herself, her own inner courage, and her compassion, to help her get through challenges?

Bonnie’s Answer: I’ve learned that there isn’t one thing I need to heal or nurture myself—there are many things.  And each woman has to find and surround herself with what works for her.  I call it an “Inner-Strength Quilt” that each woman puts together in life to build up her own strength, esteem, and spirit. My Inner-Strength Quilt includes exercise, healthy eating, long walks in the woods, friends, family, therapy for the abuse in my childhood, travel, and, most importantly, prayer.  Over time, each woman can build her own quilt as she learns more about what she needs to nurture herself.

On my web site I have included lot of resources for women to tap into—articles by me and other experts, radio shows where I have interviewed authors on healing topics, and even mini-TV shows.  Check it out for new ideas you can add to your own Inner-Strength Quilt.

Question: What did the 27 women you met while writing your book, How Strong Women Pray, share with you that you’ve grown from and use in your everyday life?

I learned that the strong women who I admire don’t pray for all their problems to be solved.  They pray for the strength, wisdom, and grace to be the solution to the challenges in their own lives, in their communities, and in their workplace.  I loved each and every story in the book, How Strong Women Pray, because it is clear that when we are truly open to being the solution we can receive miraculous help from many sources that allow us to go beyond what we thought we could do.

Question: Women are so good at nurturing others. What guidance would you offer women to help them focus their nurturing more on themselves?

Bonnie’s Answer: It is important to remind ourselves that we can’t help others if we don’t take care of ourselves.  But often, that isn’t enough to keep the priority on self-care.  You could try a buddy system for women to help each other focus on self-care by meeting up weekly or monthly to support each other on health check ups, spa treatments, and the like. There are also many wonderful women’s conferences for wellness, career, and general bonding time.

In my book, Live Your Joy, I talked about putting time for joy on your daily ‘to do’ list.  Scheduling in 5 minutes here and there to stop and think about something that makes you happy can boost your energy.  Click on this link to get access to a free set of tips for putting more joy into your life right away!

Question: What did you draw on–in yourself and from life–in order to persevere and achieve your own goals?

Bonnie’s Answer: When I reflect on why a one-legged, African-American girl from San Diego was able to become a Paralympic ski medalist—in other words to do things no one would expect of me—the most important ingredient is definitely confidence.  I often told people I could do things, then had to figure out how I would make it work. Whether it was skiing on one leg, writing a book, or learning to scuba dive, I would step out on faith.  Where did I learn to do this?  Early on, my mother always expected me to do my best in tough situations.  She made me go to school with two-legged kids, take PE, and never make excuses.  She sent my brother, my sister, and I across town on scholarship at the rich kids’ school and expected us to get A’s.  All of my life I have dived into challenges projecting confidence to others, even when I did not yet know how I would get through it.  My own confidence convinced others to believe in me and support me, too.

Question: Everyone says presence so important for women to be successful—what is “Presence” exactly?

Bonnie’s Answer: There is no ‘one size fits all’. When you think of someone who walks into a room and exudes authority, confidence, and leadership–someone who is magnetic–part of that power comes from being authentic.  The women leaders I am interviewing for my next book, How Great Women Lead, such as Condoleezza Rice, the President of Liberia, and Hillary Clinton, have all figured out how to tap into their personal strengths and style.  They aren’t trying to be anyone else.  The way you walk into a room, the way you dress, and way you express yourself verbally is most powerful when it gives the clear sense that you have figured out who you are and who you are not.

Presence is also not a uniform standard because it depends on your goals.  Whether you wear flamboyant, trendy clothes or conservative suits may depend on whether you want to succeed in advertising or banking.  Exuding warmth and charisma is more helpful in certain organizational cultures or careers, whereas tough, direct talk would be required elsewhere.

What can be said to be most common across all fields, is the need to eliminate distractions and communicate at a very high level.  Getting rid of distractions means that you are clearly communicating your style, values, and strengths with everything you do—not sending mixed messages or shifting the core message.  Being consistent in how you present yourself reduces distractions.  Learning to be a better speaker is often a process of eliminating physical mannerisms and vocal eccentricities so that your message is more clearly heard.

Presence, it can be said, comes from doing the internal work to be clear about your values and your goals and then doing the external work to learn how to communicate those values and goals effectively.   I enjoy executive coaching because I can work with individuals on both sides of creating presence.

Question: Which of the  “Choose You” commitments appeal the most to you? (Eat Right, Get Active, Quit Smoking, Get regular Health Checks, Protect My Skin)

Bonnie’s Answer: I think that they are all important!  I may be doing very well with each one for awhile, then I get busy and something falls off the edge of my daily life.  For example, I was doing well with my exercise routine in the gym, but when I hit the busy season for travel in my work, my exercise level dropped.  After a couple of weeks, I realized it just wasn’t working and began packing my jump rope.  I can quickly jump rope for 15 or 20 minutes each day on the road and it goes a long way to keeping me in shape.  With eating, it’s the same way.  I have to stop periodically and identify new ways to improve my eating habits.  Especially as the decades go by, what constitutes ‘eating right’ shifts.  For me not smoking and using sunscreen are pretty easy.  With my busy life, however, making time to get all the right health checks and maintenance—dentist, artificial leg, mammograms, physicals, etc—isn’t easy.  I usually do those checkups during the slow period of the year, but this year has been continuously on the go!  I guess you could say that “Choosing You” means always working to get better in each area. Most of us can always get better.

Question: How would you convince the women in your life whom you care about to “Choose You” for themselves? Young, middle-aged, and older?

Bonnie’s Answer: When I think about how I have worked with my mother, my teenage daughter, and other women in my life, there are three simple things I can do.  First, I share information I learn about healthy eating, exercise, etc. Often there are surprising facts or new research that can make a difference.  Secondly, I try to be supportive of good choices—exercising together, doing yoga, cooking healthy on holidays.  For my daughter I stock lots of fresh fruit and veggies that she likes to make it easy.  Finally, I try not to enable bad behaviors, which can be tough to do.  It may seem harsh to say no when your obese friend says, “Let’s go for ice cream,” or to refuse to be around people when they are smoking, but in the end that can make a difference, too.  In summary:  information, support, and no enabling.

At the end of the day though, this approach may or may not work.  I try to be consistent, but I know sometimes I don’t do it right or do it lovingly and it’s easy to come off like a jerk. Also, if the person you care about really doesn’t want to change, you can’t do it for them.  Just keep loving them and stay true to your own values.

Biography of Bonnie St. John

Despite having her right leg amputated at age five, Bonnie St. John became the first African-American ever to win Olympic medals in ski racing at the 1984 Paralympics in Innsbruck, Austria.  In recognition of this historic achievement, Bonnie was honored at the White House by President George W. Bush as part of the 2007 celebration of Black History Month.

In addition to her success as a Paralympic athlete, Bonnie is the author of five books, a highly sought after keynote speaker, a television and radio personality, a business owner, and the single mother of a teenage daughter. She graduated Magna Cum Laude from Harvard, won a Rhodes Scholarship to Oxford, and served in the White House during the Clinton administration.

NBC Nightly News called Bonnie, “One of the five most inspiring women in America.” She has been featured extensively in both national and international media including: The Today Show, CNN, CBS Morning News, NBC News, and The New York Times, as well as People, “O”, and Essence magazines, to name just a few.

Bonnie lives in Princeton, NJ, with her daughter, Darcy.

Julie’s Intro: What’s your Choose You story? Send it to me at chooseyoujulie@gmail.com and tell me which Choose You pledge(s) you’ve committed to, and how you made that choice! Today…meet Laura. I met Laura when we were about twelve years old. I had just moved to a new city and school (again), and I didn’t make too much of becoming a part of it because I was used to relocating every year. But this time, we stayed, straight through high school graduation. In those years I got to know Laura as a lovely, authentic, kind, and thoughtful person and a beautiful dancer with talent I envied. She had grace (which I did okay with), combined with that special personal pizazz, flexibility (which I lacked), and a knack for picking up choreography far faster than I ever could. Unlike so many teen girls, though, Laura used dance as a method of inclusion. It was a joy, something to be shared. When dances and dance opportunities came along, Laura devoted herself to making sure everyone who wanted to had a spot. I’m happy to know that Laura is back dancing again, and sharing that with us. I’m glad to be able to share her story of rediscovering it.

Intro:

In 1998, I quit dancing. I stopped trying to be the dancer that I always wanted to be when I was a girl. I gave up trying to grow her into a woman. About 2 years ago, at age 37, I was lured into a class at Ballet Austin’s Butler Community School in Austin, Texas, where two semi-retired Broadway performers were teaching Broadway jazz. It took some courage to step into a dance studio for the first time in 10 years, and I’m never looking back. I dance for my spirit, my mind, and my body benefits, too. When I choose dance, I’m choosing to be authentically me – from the inside, out.

Have a Little Faith:

“How are you laurabondwilliams?” my dance teacher asked me before class one day.

“Busy,” I said, knowing and owning how lame that sounds. “Busy” because most weeks I am engaged in four primary activities: dancing, working, parenting and driving (noticeably absent: cooking, house cleaning, organic gardening). So I collect my thoughts in the spaces in between the busy-ness; sometimes writing short emails or dutiful (but woefully erratic) morning pages. One good thing about busy-ness is that I am not treating my writing so preciously. With that in mind, I’m sharing some thoughts that need to be aired.

For two years now, I’ve been having thoughtful conversations with adult dancers or others who want to be. I’ve taken over 200 hours of dance classes from more than a dozen teachers in three cities. I have talked to professional dancers, retired dancers, brand new dancers and born-again dancers.

For those who are not dancing and say that you want to be:

1) The urge to dance will never leave you. For the rest of your life, it will either be something you do or something you wish you did. (There’s no in between.) And there are a dozen obstacles between you and class, and I understand that. Life, work, family, friends, money, time…when you figure it out, remember this.

2) When you are ready to honor that urge, wear whatever you like! Not sure if you can take a dance class because you don’t have the right shoes, tights, yoga top or _________? For heaven’s sake, don’t let CLOTHING stop you. You got socks? Shorts? T-shirt? Let’s go. Like a reason to buy new clothes? One of my ballet classmates occasionally dons a full black tutu. No, she’s not a retired ballerina. She’s in month 7 of her intense love affair with ballet. The dancer in me honors the dancer in her; I think she rocks the black tutu.

3) Simply show up.

After accomplishing 1, 2, and 3, you enter a new phase. Dancers, now I’m talking about us.

4) Stop being hard on yourself. Simply, stop. It’s hard, I know. Just…stop.

5) Accept praise and constructive criticism graciously — and from all sources. (Not only teachers.) The good Lord knows I’m working on this one. One of the most valuable observations I received this year came from a classmate who noticed that I danced more expressively in a different pair of shoes. God bless her.

6) Have faith.

As I write these, I realize that my advice is meant for me.

This weekend I made a confession to a friend, giving voice to a feeling that had eluded words until now: I may be a watchable dancer but I’m not creative. And my yearning for creativity is intensifying at a frightening, urgent rate. But, holy cow, I’m a slow learner — because one of my teachers pointed toward this new path nearly a year ago — lighten up, be playful, find the joy. Because, now I understand, that lack of play starves creativity.

For most of my life, I’ve danced from the outside in. (Do it the right way, and you’ll be good.)

Now it’s time to dance from the inside out. (Do it your way. And it may get worse before it gets better. See #6.)

Whew. Okay, breathe.

(Now reread 1-5.)

And find the joy.

Laura Bond Williams is a writer and public relations consultant in Austin, Texas, where she’s grateful for a loving family who let her dance as much as she wants.

I thought I’d have more time — isn’t it always that way? But her end sneaked up on me, too fast. And so, I’m running this sooner than expected, with a heavy heart and much sympathy for the family of Elizabeth Edwards. Her grace and inspiration go on, although in this moment, that is cool comfort for all who wish to have her, too.

A few years ago, Elizabeth Edwards inspired a lot of women, including me. She told us to get a voice, and use it. Then, when a group of women sitting in a coffee shop one day decided to take that advice literally, she once again was supportive and encouraging. Personally. When those women asked me to join them, I jumped at the chance and my life has been enriched in a thousand ways just by knowing them, and doing incredible things with them. All the while, inspired by, supported by, and encouraged by Elizabeth Edwards. All while she is living with cancer. And now, we have learned, she is nearing the end of her journey. This makes me unspeakably sad.

It’s because it’s happened in my life before, with people who aren’t front page news, but who, nevertheless, have also been supportive and inspirational.

It’s because it’s happened in the lives of people I care about, with people who aren’t front page news but who are, nevertheless, of enormous value.

That means I am sympathetic and empathetic to Elizabeth and her family. I understand. I know what this news feels like. I feel what this looming loss means, and personally, it is a loss for me, too.

When I posted the news about Elizabeth Edwards, my brother-in-law Dave, who lost both of his beautiful sisters to cancer, said, “She’s hearing news from her doctors we’ve heard ourselves, and it drops like a hand grenade in a room that had previously been filled with at least some vestige of hope. This is the painful reality of cancer treatment. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. :-(”

Amen, Dave. I don’t wish it on anyone. It makes me grateful for the gift of that person, but that’s a bittersweet sort of gratitude because one some level, you never really accept loss; you just learn to live with it as best you can. Which is sort of a misnomer, because it’s really just coping. I’ll never really understand cancer, or accept it, its cost, its loss, our loss. But, I’ll appreciate, find the value and valuable in the having, focus on that, as best I can. That’s what I do with Elizabeth Edwards, as I try to wrap my mind around this end of journey message in the news, and in what she has said, her farewell that doesn’t say goodbye.

Elizabeth gave me this one gift, in particular. It was drawing an important boundary between myself and other people, and how much of my life they get to label, or, more importantly, the value I place on those labels. A little over three years ago, she made the decision to not let cancer hold her back, or hold her family back. She earned some harsh criticism for that, and in response, she said, “You don’t get to say I’m a terrible mother.” That moved me, deeply. When we choose ourselves, or choose for ourselves, sometimes, others disagree, or worse, disapprove. When we have health issues, and people know about them, they sometimes feel the right to judge, out loud, the choices we make. Elizabeth is the first person I ever heard say out loud, publicly, that this crosses a boundary, and she won’t accept it. Later, in fact, nearly exactly one year later, when her marriage and health were once again front page news, people once again crossed that boundary, and once again, Elizabeth kept her personal boundaries firmly in place, and chose as she felt was best for herself and her family. Read the rest of this entry »

Julie’s Intro: What’s your Choose You story? Send it to me at chooseyoujulie@gmail.com and tell me which Choose You pledge(s) you’ve committed to, and how you made that choice! In this post, Susan tells her story. Every day I see statuses of my running friends come through DailyMile,com and Facebook. Susan’s dedication to her exercise always impressed me, as does her fashion sense. Most of all I love how her down-to-earth confidence and willingness to challenge herself sets such a beautiful example. So I asked her to share her story of how she became a runner in her 40s…and here is her great tale…

Thanksgiving was the coldest day yet this winter in Oklahoma City; the sky was overcast and the thermometer hovered at 30, with a wind chill that made it feel like 20. A perfect morning to stay in bed, or to curl up with a cup of coffee and a piece of pie.

Or to go running.

I’ve always been athletic, in a lackadaisical kind of way; I played JV sports in high school and taught aerobics in college. I was an on-again, off-again runner into my 20s, and then a committed walker into my 30s. But for the past decade, since my sons were born, most of my athletic activity has revolved around my children. We play tag and shoot baskets in the driveway; I pitch batting practice and chase soccer balls that roll into the road. I wasn’t sedentary, but I wasn’t doing anything you could describe as “working out” either.

In the bigger picture, this wasn’t really a big deal. I easily lost the baby weight after both boys were born, and my health is excellent. I would hear about friends who were devoting themselves to Jillian Michaels or some other program and think how lucky I was not to have to do that.

I was really missing the point, though.

Last spring, I turned 42. My birthday weekend was like any other weekend; I took my social butterfly first grader to two kid birthday parties, helped my neighbors with a garage sale, and went out for dinner with the kids and my in-laws. It was a lovely weekend with people I adore — and not one single second of it was really about me.

That same weekend was the Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon; on Sunday, race day, my Facebook feed was filled with updates from friends who had run the various races, everything from the 5K to the full marathon. I knew that some of my girlfriends were serious runners, but others surprised me. These were women who were wives and mothers, women with full-time jobs and health issues bigger than anything I faced. And yet all of them had found the time to train for this run. I read their status updates and thought, I could do that.

In my head, I could do that is often followed by but I don’t have the time/money/some other ephemeral excuse that gets me off the hook. Because there are always other things that need to get done around here — the bathrooms need to be cleaned (again), and someone has a diorama to build for Spanish, and there’s that gigantic last-minute project for work that only I can finish. Following through on I could do that always meant carving out time for something that wasn’t about anyone but me — and that, of course, was the biggest sticking point, every time.

But this time, I thought, if I’m already walking for 45 minutes each morning, why not run instead? I can still get the laundry and the homework and the projects done, just like I’m doing now. I can do that! After all, it’s not like I’m going to run a marathon or anything.

Little did I know.

I started the Couch to 5K program in May, and finished it in 9 weeks. And then I just kept running, longer and longer distances. I ran my first race in September, a 10K that nearly killed me (80 degrees with 80% humidity at 8:00 am). I’m currently running 20-25 miles per week, and in February of 2011, I will be running a half marathon in Austin, TX. On Thanksgiving morning, in the freezing cold, I ran a Turkey Trot 5K and finished in 27:27, which is a personal best for me. I also finished in the top 10 in my age bracket, and in the top quarter of all women participants over all.

Apparently, I can do that.

Running — and training for a big run — has changed my life, truly, as cliched as that sounds. Staying on a training schedule means running in brutal heat and freezing cold. It means running when the wind is blowing at 20 miles an hour. But more importantly, training for the half marathon has meant making a conscious effort to put myself first, on a regular basis. My runs are part of our family schedule now, just like the kids’ activities and the work projects. And honestly, I enjoy those kid activities and work projects a lot more now than I did before I started running.

It’s still cold here these days. I get up in the morning and put on various layers of tights and UnderArmor; I gather up my hat and gloves and sunglasses. I drop my sons at school and drive to the lake and run whatever miles are on the schedule for the day. I look forward to my long run days, when I can just listen to the sound of my feet for eight nor nine (or more) miles, and just focus on myself.

It’s good to know that I can do that.

Susan Wagner is a freelance writer and editor; she lives in Oklahoma City with her husband and their two sons. Susan is the Associate Editor of AOL’s Holidash; she is also the author of The Working Closet blog at Work It, Mom. In her free time, Susan posts pictures of what she’s wearing (almost) every day at her personal blog, Friday Playdate.

Hi, my name is Erica Daniel, and I own and write at HaleMom.com. I’m really excited to be here to talk about one of the ChooseYou commitments of “eating right.” At HaleMom, I like to stay abreast of breaking news on health and wellness, and a recent news article really hit a nerve with me.

If you were to pick any post of mine, you’d find that although I aim to live a healthy lifestyle. It’s not always easy to accomplish, and I don’t proclaim to have things nailed down myself either. Being in the health blog niche isn’t easy, and sometimes I feel as if there is an increased pressure to live a regimented, healthy life. It’s probably mostly in my own head though, but I do feel as though I need to share the things or realizations I come to with others. I think it’s kind of crazy to think that anyone could go without indulging every once in a while anyway.

Which is why in one of my recent posts, titled “Twinkies, Cookies, and Candy, Oh My!” I had to write about the news of the professor that went on the “Twinkie diet.” I wonder why as a whole, people tend to be hard on themselves when it comes to eating right, and losing weight. It’s good to eat fruits and vegetables, of course, but as evidenced in the experiment the nutrition professor performed on himself, it’s pretty obvious that the body gives us some leeway, and it’s main concern is energy.

Something I hear in common from others is that it can hard to lead a healthy life, because of all the science involved, but it really isn’t. When making decisions for you and your family, it’s important to take into account having joy and not just sticking to a strictly healthy diet. No, twinkies and cookies should not be eaten everyday as meals, because of the risks of malnutrition and the chance of causing preventable diseases. Yes, vegetables and fruits are good for you and can even help reduce the likelihood of developing cancer. The important lesson is to keep food intake balanced, with carbohydrates, proteins, and fats, and remember that moderation is key.

My best advice, that I use when it comes to the not so healthy foods (which has helped me immensely,) is to read the label and only intake one serving size, that way it’s possible to stay on track and feel good about the choices made. This way, it’s known exactly how many calories have been consumed on the “bad stuff,” but that’s just one way to control the indulgent food intake. Decisions, decisions are all around us, and I have to note that even if I slip up and eat too many cookies or have an extra serving, I try not be so hard on myself, and just keep moving forward and adjust my caloric intake accordingly. It’d be more harmful to harbor intense regret about the foods eaten, and then end up falling into a bad eating cycle.

Good luck on your battles, because we all face them, but remember to enjoy life and try not to stress to much about food and making sure that every single one of your decisions is always perfect. My main transformation from living an extremely unhealthy life to becoming health conscious was my pregnancy, and that cute little girl that I call my daughter. What’s your reason for choosing you?